Music: When You’re Old and Grey

One of those stupidly-late-night-on-BBC-Radio-3 sort of discoveries. New to me, maybe not to you.

A bit cruel, but hilarious!


Since I still appreciate you,
Let’s find love while we may.
Because I know I’ll hate you
When you are old and grey.

So say you love me here and now,
I’ll make the most of that.
Say you love and trust me,
For I know you’ll disgust me
When you’re old and getting fat.

An awful debility,
A lessened utility,
A loss of mobility
Is a strong possibility.
In all probability
I’ll lose my virility
And you your fertility
And desirability,
And this liability
Of total sterility
Will lead to hostility
And a sense of futility,
So let’s act with agility
While we still have facility,
For we’ll soon reach senility
And lose the ability.

Your teeth will start to go, dear,
Your waist will start to spread.
In twenty years or so, dear,
I’ll wish that you were dead.

I’ll never love you then at all
The way I do today.
So please remember,
When I leave in December,
I told you so in May.


4 thoughts on “Music: When You’re Old and Grey

  1. John doesn’t like it when I sing this song at him.

    My favourite Tom Lehrer song is the Masochism Tango 😀 and the Wiener Schnitzel Waltz! Oh, he is my favourite person ever.


    • Why does that not surprise me? Definitely keen on taunting Ben with this. It’d make him SUPER grumpy.

      I remember you singing Masochism Tango a LOT. I also like Poisoning Pigeons in the Park.

      LOVE x


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