Books: Complicity
OK, I’ll readily admit that I have been horrendously AWOL lately. I’m sorry. Life has been very busy, in good and bad ways. Good: one of my school friends is getting married in a month’s time. Bad: I have no money. Good: I got engaged. Bad: I’m struggling to see where I’m headed. And so forth.
But, in amongst all this, I’ve been reading. And I felt the urge to revisit a book I’ve read before, namely “Complicity” by Iain Banks. I don’t know what compelled me to pick it up again, but needless to say I couldn’t find my copy. Dagnabbit. So I bought it on my Kindle (you know, with the money I don’t have).
Anyway. I’ve mentioned Complicity before (back when I briefly reviewed The Bridge a couple of years ago) but I’ve never reviewed it before. I say “reviewed”: I mean rambled incoherently whilst giving across my sheer love of this book.
OK, it’s not a lovely book. I’ll be blunt: it’s the most vile and vicious book I’ve read. Ever. Those of you who have been exposed to Banks before have most likely read The Wasp Factory, and thought that was pretty heavy. Well, Banks himself said in interview that Complicity is ”[a] bit like The Wasp Factory except without the happy ending and redeeming air of cheerfulness”. So, try and think positive.
Complicity is based mainly in and around Edinburgh (a plus for me, already), following the strange and brutal murders of a series of capitalist, right-wing figures. But it’s not just as simple as all that, is it? No, the murders are ingenious, the murderer has the whole thing thoroughly planned out, and the reader is rapidly pulled into the depths of confusion and despair along with our narrator.
The majority of the plot of Complicity revolves around the life of Cameron Colley, a disillusioned left-wing journalist, who is a bit down on life. He is strangely lovable – I say strangely, because he is a bit sad, lonely, has many casual drug habits, has regular sex with a married woman, etc. One might say he is “a good man with bad habits”. My other half once described himself like this, so maybe that’s another reason I find Cameron strangely lovable.
The sections of plot involving Cameron are written in first person – some people call this the “unreliable narrator”, and yes, he probably is a bit, because he does ramble on. But it gives the reader a real sense of being WITH the action, in the thick of it. We feel his boredom, we sense his excitement, and finally, when he is arrested, falsely accused of the murders of those right-wing figures I mentioned, we sense his desperation, and we slip into the confusion and paranoia that interrogation and sleep deprivation brings.
There are a lot of moral questions in this book: questions about crime and punishment, war (huh, what is it good for), and the darker side of human nature. And of course, where do our loyalties lie? Would YOU be complicit?
The descriptions of the murders themselves are brutal and very uncomfortable to read in a public place. But to make matters worse (and even more effective) these sections of the novel are written in second person – yes, YOU, ”You hear the first faint distant screams just as you take the bike’s key from your pocket. You feel suddenly elated”. Shudder.
Like with all crime thrillers, I can’t divulge too much plot without spoiling the experience for you. But needless to say, this remains one of my favourite books of all time (so far). Even if I have to read some of it through my fingers. Seriously. It’s gruesome.
Oh, and a humorous tit-bit: Cameron is heavily into computer games, particularly a fictitious game called “Despot” which is curiously similar to Civilisation (which my dad used to play). Cameron loses many hours due to playing this game. In fact, he’s often playing the game when he should be writing. And you know what? So was Iain Banks. Happy sigh. Art mirrors life mirrors art.
READ IT.
2012
Hellloooooo, blogosphere! Remember me?
I know, I know. I’ve been a neglectful blog-mother. I’m sorry. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been MIGHTY busy. New county, new home, new job, new life… Same old me. And Ben is still here 
But yes: HAPPY NEW YEAR! I’ve had some tough “moments” this year, and to be perfectly honest, I’m getting a bit sick of hearing my own whinging. Looking back on last New Year’s 1st Jan post, a lot still applies:
“So, [2011] is gone. Like so many days and years, it is in the past, now merely a memory. Words on a page, photos in the album. Some days, I mourn the days that we’ve lost, but really, we haven’t really lost them. We’ve lived them, and we have many more days ahead to continue living.
So rather than mourn what has passed, perhaps it’s time to look optimistically to the future. I spend an awful lot of my time moping and burying my head (please see my official job description in the blog header), but I have, over the last couple of years, been trying to reassess my life and get some perspective. I’m sure many of you know how difficult it is to break habitual destructive behaviours, but where there’s a will, there’s a way!
So let’s see the New Year as a chance for a fresh start.”
My New Year’s Resolutions from last year… didn’t really work out. Let’s review:
1. I have not lost weight. I’ve gone from last 1st Jan’s 12st1.5lb to a mighty 13st. Please do not adjust your sets.
2. The exercise… Well, no. I jogged for like… two weeks, then realised it doesn’t suit me. AT ALL. However, moving to the countryside has lead to more countryside walks, and in warmer weather will encourage cycling and swimming. Watch this space.
3. Eat healthy? Sort of. Less so these past few weeks due to the seasonal blow out, but over all we have rediscovered vegetables, which can be no bad thing.
4. Budget. Well, I wouldn’t be still standing if I hadn’t managed to squeeze my finances. Go me.
5. Redecorate the flat. I don’t live there any more! Hurrah!
6. Study hard. I could have studied harder, but still managed to come out of my MSc with a 2:i (3% off a first. I have mixed feelings. Not discussable here).
7. Forgive myself? Unfortunately, still an unmastered skill. I’ll keep working on it.
And this New Year? Well, one of my seniors at work today suggested making wishes, or hopes. for the year ahead, rather than resolutions. I thought it was a lovely idea, so with that in mind:
1. I hope to continue furthering my education, with possibly some NVQs or a diploma in counselling or mental health care
2. I hope to do some volunteering – I miss my work with SANE
3. I wish people would have their voices heard, and that people would listen more compassionately
4. I wish an assistant psychology post would open up in Waveney, and take me on board for the role…
5. I wish I could give a doggy a home 
6. I wish all my friends and family luck, health and happiness. Cheesey, I know, but now more than I ever, I realise how much you all mean to me.
So there we go. All a bit vague and swirly, yes, but I hope that I can make this year a good one.
AH, OH, BEFORE I FORGET. The books of 2011! You remember the Book List, right? Well, here is the 2011 Book Round-up:
I’ve only read a measly 18 books (12 non-fiction, 6 fiction) this year. I know, I know. But remember how I was studying for finals, doing a dissertation, and then moving house? Poor excuses, maybe. Poo to you, sir.
Well, I got a lump of Amazon vouchers as part of a Christmas present, so I’ve loaded up my Kindle and am raring to read. I’ll see you in a year to prove that 2011 was just a rare howler, reading wise. Here’s the list (favourites are show with an asterisk):
- 01.2011 – *V S Ramachandran – Phantoms in the Brain (nf)
- 02.2011 – Neris Thomas & India Knight – Neris and India’s Idiot-Proof Diet (nf)
- 03.2011 – Carl Rogers – On Encounter Groups (nf)
- 02.2011 – *Terry Pratchett – Unseen Academicals (f)
- 03.2011 – Matt Ridley – The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature (nf)
- 03.2011 – Adam Phillips – Darwin’s Worms (nf)
- 03.2011 – *Ben Goldacre – Bad Science: Quacks, Hacks, and Big Pharma Flacks (nf)
- 04.2011 – Prof. Robin Dunbar – The Trouble with Science (nf)
- 04.2011 – Jeff Potter – Cooking for Geeks: Real Science, Great Hacks, and Good Food (nf)
- 05.2011 – Susan Greenfield – Id (nf)
- 11.05.2011 – Rudyard Kipling – The Man Who Would Be King (f)
- 29.07.2011 – Jack London - White Fang (f)
- 02.08.2011 – Richard Mabey - Food for Free: A Fantastic Feast of Plants and Folklore (nf)
- 07.08.2011 – Steven Johnson – Everything Bad is Good for You (nf)
- 12.08.2011 – Patrick Bateson & Paul Martin – Design for a Life (nf)
- 16.11.2011 – Terry Pratchett – Snuff (f)
- 20.11.2011 – Terry Pratchett – Wintersmith (f)
- 24.12.2011 – *Robin Hobb – Assassin’s Apprentice (f)
How about you? Read any good books lately?
Gone
On Thursday, Bubble stopped eating.
She had been struggling with myco complications for a good few weeks now, and the antibiotics seemed to be having only a limited positive effect.
Rats often have respiratory problems, especially as they get older (my girls are about 2 now). Sometimes they get by on baytril long term, and Bubble put up a good fight, but ultimately, she needed a rest.
I can feel myself welling up now.
Ben phoned me up a few weeks ago, whilst I was up here in Suffolk and he and the rats were still in London, sounding worried – Bubble’s breathing was really bad, he said. Very wheezey, sneezey. She had bad porphyrin build up around her eyes too, a sign that she was seriously stressed out.
The vet gave her jabs, and gave us some baytril to administer at home (via oral syringe – she hated that). Then there was the corvental-D, and the powdered steroids, and I think it was all a bit much, and optimism got the better of us.
Bubble has always been a bit of a sickly rat. She had an abscess in January, and she’s been a bit sniffy since we first got her. But she’s also been very highly spirited, ok quite highly strung, but cheeky and loads of fun. Never a dull moment, even if the chewed wires were a pain (rare, but ultimately inconvenient).
Rats are tricky. They are incredibly affectionate, intelligent, inquisitive, and ultimately very easy to get attached to. But they are also small, and therefore quite short lived. Most rats manage 2-4 years. Short but sweet. I loved having Bubble in my life, which has made the last few days all the more difficult.
With the move to Suffolk and my new job starting, I’ve been up and down to London. Unfortunately, when things turned the bad corner on Thursday, I was up here, not down there. But I didn’t want her to wait, suffering unnecessarily, until I got home. A difficult decision, but we think the right one, Ben took her, alone, to the vet. I’m sorry that I couldn’t say goodbye. It hurts to think about that.
But she can get some rest now. I worry that her sister, Squeak (who moved up to Suffolk with me this morning) will be lonely. She seems mostly ok for now, but rats are sociable creatures, and I think she enjoyed being bullied by Bubble. We’ll have to keep each other company for now.
Goodnight, Whitey.
Symphony of Science
Two posts in one day. I know, I spoil you.
Really, I just wanted to share with you something that I feel is a beautiful homage, well put-together, and strangely enchanting. It is essentially a mash-up of documentary and lecture clips, auto-tuned to produce a flowing melody, on an electronic backing track, but the end result is, frankly, brilliant. Includes some of my true heroes, some more well-known faces of science, and also Bill Nye (the Science Guy) who taught me science via my telly when I was only 6 years old. Squee.
Enjoy.
EDIT: If you enjoy this, you can watch Jill Bolte Taylor’s moving, inspiring TED talk (sampled here) in full here
[Robert Winston]
It’s amazing to consider that I’m holding in my hands
The place where someone once felt, thought, and loved
For centuries, scientists have been battling to understand
What this unappealing object is all about
[Vilayanur Ramachandran]
Here is this mass of jelly
You can hold in the palm of your hands
And it can contemplate the vastness of interstellar space
[Carl Sagan]
The brain has evolved from the inside out
Its structure reflects all the stages through which it has passed
[Jill Bolte Taylor]
Information in the form of energy
Streams in simultaneously
Through all of our sensory systems
And then it explodes into this enormous collage
Of what this present moment looks like
What it feels like
And what it sounds like
And then it explodes into this enormous collage
And in this moment we are perfect
We are whole and we are beautiful
[Robert Winston]
It appears rather gruesome
Wrinkled like a walnut, and with the consistency of mushroom
[Carl Sagan]
What we know is encoded in cells called neurons
And there are something like a hundred trillion neural connections
This intricate and marvelous network of neurons has been called
An enchanted loom
The neurons store sounds too, and snatches of music
Whole orchestras play inside our heads
20 million volumes worth of information
Is inside the heads of every one of us
The brain is a very big place
In a very small space
No longer at the mercy of the reptile brain
We can change ourselves
Think of the possibilities
[Bill Nye]
Think of your brain as a newspaper
Think of all the information it can store
But it doesn’t take up too much room
Because it’s folded
[Oliver Sacks]
We see with the eyes
But we see with the brain as well
And seeing with the brain
Is often called imagination
[Various]
[Robert Winston]
It is the most mysterious part of the human body
And yet it dominates the way we live our adult lives
It is the brain
Time Juggling
I’m still here! Promise.
Just a bit hectic here (as always). I still don’t have an oven or washing machine (anyone in Waveney with a spare, working washing machine that they want to donate?) but I now have a fridge and a DOUBLE inflatable mattress.
Lots still to bring up from London, but we’re getting there, slowly. Ben has, just today, sold his big red Capri for breaking, and was only offered £500 for it. I think he is very sad, but he’s not letting on much, and it’s hard to tell when I’m 3 hours away. I feel bad for him, because I know he loved that car and, given the time, space and money, he would have reconditioned it and made it beautiful.
However, we don’t have the time, space or money for it. In some ways, this is a good thing: our time, space and money is being developed towards our future, home and (eventually) family. It’s an exciting time, but also scary, lots of change and lots of sacrifice.
My major sacrifice at the moment is probably my sanity: trying to juggle training for three jobs is starting to do my head in, with one employer giving me a bunch of night shifts for a few week’s time. But never mind – I expected this. And hopefully, it means first paycheck soon…
Dogging in the countryside
Hello to those of you who found this blog post because you were googling naughty things. Shame on you. Today I’ll be talking about dog walking.
This week, I’ve been looking after my mum’s dog, Dusky, whilst my mum and dad are on the Isle of Wight celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary. OK, I’ve sort of been looking after their dog – I brought her up to Suffolk, but because my new house (renting, not bought, for everyone that keeps asking) requires a “pet addendum” to keep pets, I didn’t think I’d risk asking this early in the game if I can have sleepovers with my friends, the animals.
Luckily, Ben’s parents (also in Suffolk) generously allowed Dusky to stay with them. They have a dog already (Jimmy, a grumpy Jack Russell Terrier), and he wasn’t pleased to see another dog enter the premises, but Ben’s parents LOVE her. She was initially a bit nervous (she is a rescue dog, so god only knows what happened to her before my mum took her in), but has settled in beautifully.
She’s had adventures aplenty. As well as walking around Southwold common, meeting other dogs, being frightened of bikes and freaking out at the sea, my brave little girl has been for a walk, OFF THE LEAD, for the first time ever:
I was a bit worried to start with, as she has no recall to speak of, and I’m not her real mummy, so I wasn’t sure if she’d make a run for it and never come back. But I kept the faith, and we’ve bonded quite well over the last few days, so she kept quite close most of the time.
But even more exciting than this, is she had her first ever play date. And what a play date it was.
I think I’ve mentioned my friend Vin and her two enormous Newfoundlands before. Well, they’re about a year old now, and sodding enormous. Thor, the boy, is about 12 stone, whilst his sister Jester is (only! Hah!) 9 stone.
Despite their size advantage, and the fact there was two of them and one of her (and it was THEIR turf, not hers), Dusky surprisingly put them in their place and ran rings around them. Jester was actually AFRAID of this minute lurcher, retreating behind Vin’s legs every time Dusky went to say hello. Thor, on the other hand, fell deeply in love – he followed Dusky everywhere, licking her ears and generally dribbling all over her (Newfoundlands are drooly dogs).
There were only three dogs, but with their size and her speed, it felt like there were at least a dozen dogs. A fun time had by all – we must do it again some time!
Oh, final excitement: Dusky also caught her first rabbit whilst at Vin’s. It had mixamatosis, so it was probably better off dead anyway, poor thing. Luckily, Dusky broke its neck pretty swiftly, but we had to chase her around the garden for a while to get it off her. Vin had the honour of disposing of the corpse. Fun. Times.
The next few steps
Well, here I am.
Where, you ask?
Well, I’m not really sure, either. Existentially, I mean.
Geographically, I am on the move, too. The London chapter of my life is coming to a close. I got the keys to my new place last week, and spent the most part of a week sleeping alone on an inflatable mattress. It’s made it really sink in that everything is changing.
I have been finding this whole “finish full time education, move house, start work” thing more stressful and emotionally challenging than I ever could have predicted. Maybe it’s because it’s the unknown. Maybe because it’s all at once. Maybe because I’ve never been good at growth, or change, or being out of my comfort zone. Maybe because, whilst I’ve been offered bank/part time roles at four different organisations, not one of those have started formal training, or told me when I’ll start. But I know part of it is that I’ve never been out of full-time education for more than 6 months at a go, I’ve never lived alone (even if this is going to be for 2 months, at most), and I’ve never ever lived this far away from my whole family. Yes, Ben’s family live close, and they are great, and supportive, and better than being completely in the wilderness, but they are still that: potential in-laws. Not my parents, my brothers, my… you get the idea.
I relish the freedom of all this. But I’d relish it all the more if it was a bit more certain.
Unclean Beings
On Saturday, I was gifted with the opportunity to go and see Dr Brooke Magnanti (aka Belle du Jour – yes, that one) at the Wellcome Collection’s Unclean Beings. My wonderful Twitter pal, @DoktorG, generously left his two tickets at the desk for me – he couldn’t make it for the day, and didn’t want the tickets to go to waste. Ben and I couldn’t stay for the whole day, either, but were determined to at least see Dr Magnanti (and cash in on a free lunch).
It still boggles me, by the way, that Twitter can work like this – I have never met @DoktorG in “the real world”, and yet look at the generosity. Thanks, @DoktorG!
Dr Magnanti was there to speak about, yes you guessed it, prostitution. Her talk was entitled “Why is paid sex dirty?”, and was sadly less than an hour long. I say sadly because Dr Magnanti is such a wonderful speaker.
Dr Magnanti, having actually worked AS a hooker, didn’t bring the stuffiness and drama that usually surrounds a discussion about sex work – there was no “shock” factor and patronisation you would get in, say, a Channel 4 documentary. Dr Magnanti gave a brief history of “the oldest profession”, and offered some opinions as to why it is considered so taboo. She also voiced her own opinion about why this label of “dirty” is so unnecessary – it is, after all, a job. In many societies (different countries, different times), prostitutes earn more money, have more power and more protection, than most other women in “respectable” professions. Someone in the audience gave a statistic of something like 8c a week as a factory worker versus $9 a week as a hooker (somewhere in the Far East I think, but honestly, I have a memory like a sieve).
What followed was an excellent Q&A session, where there were some good questions (What about male prostitutes? Why is the stigma attached to women so much stronger?) and some terrible ones (Why did you choose to reveal your identity as Belle du Jour when you did? Do you regret it, or has it made you a stronger person?).
Long and short: if you get the opportunity to see Dr Magnanti speak, take it. She is not to be missed.
Finally, whilst we were at the Wellcome Collection, I took the opportunity to finally have a look at the temporary Dirt exhibition. Excitingly, I was actually featured in this gallery. Don’t believe me? OK, then I had to break the rules and take a surreptitious photo in this gallery (DO NOT DO THIS – IT’S NAUGHTY AND NOT ALLOWED). See number 12 -
Exciting stuff, right? Find out more about this exhibit (the Laid to Rest project) – I think they’re still taking dust donations, so if you want to see your name in a public gallery (eeee) then go ahead!
Moving on up, moving on out
OK, time for some cautious optimism. We are getting closer and closer to leaving London.
“What?!” I hear you cry. Oh, you didn’t know? Well, I haven’t really made a formal announcement (because it’s been so touch and go) but basically, we’re moving to Suffolk. Various reasons, but a big one being I REALLY want a garden. Some space. Outdoors.
Southwold beach, about 15mins drive from our future house
The details are sketchy (because clearly Ben has a job in London, so won’t be upping sticks entirely. Yet) but we have just received an email from the letting agent in Suffolk saying we can have the house we want. We’ve arranged a day to collect the keys in the middle of August – not as soon as I’d've hoped, but soon enough (“that’s not soon enough!”)
But moving brings with it heartache and change. I’m really bad at change. I think that’s what’s held me back in the past – fear of change. It’s kept me in stagnant relationships, it stopped me wanting to go to grammar school (I know, I know), but slowly, gently, I’m learning to let change into my life. This is a big one (all at once) as I will be moving away from everything I know – volunteering, choir, friends, my mum (ARGH that’s the hardest one). However, I like to think that this year is a bit of a break through for me become a bit more independent – I’ve got my own car, I’ll (hopefully) be getting a job soon, and my own place (it’s in my name, people! Booyah). Scary shit, right? Right. But I repeat: garden.
Also, it’s not all 100% scary – my choir master from the English Arts Chorale lives in Suffolk too (and commutes to Surrey every week for choir – mad I know) – he runs two other choirs there, so at least I have somewhere to sing. Added to that, Ben’s parents and sister live about 15-20mins drive from where we’re going to live, which makes it feel a bit safer.
Yesterday came the first “cut off” – I said goodbye to SANE and to the EAC. I’ve been a member of each organisation for 15months and 3years respectively, but it felt a lot longer (in a good way). But Suffolk is a long way away, so I had to say goodbye. It was hard, but the cake I baked made it a bit easier. I will definitely keep in touch with the folks at the EAC (I can’t get away from them – they do joint concerts with the choirs in Suffolk!!) and I will continue to spread the news of SANE’s good works. But it’s still difficult to accept that I am no longer directly involved – both groups have meant a lot to me in different ways. Both have helped me to grow.
Anyway, I’ve rambled enough (and I’m getting sad, like when I had to leave the Horniman). More news on the move as-and-when.
Oh, and as always – sorry updates have been sparse lately, but given the above (and the dissertation) I hope you’re happy to forgive and be patient.
FINAL Mental Health Forum
Sorry about the distinct lack of posts lately – things have got a bit, well, mad around here over the last few weeks. And it’s not even the dissertation that’s doing it. Ergh.
But:
Are you free this afternoon? Fancy taking part in the LAST instalment of what has been an increasingly successful series of mental health forums?
The fifth and final in the Wax/Owen mental health forums is today! Come along to the Menier Chocolate Factory from 2-4pm to join in the discussion. Here comes the blurb…
Due to overwhelming demand Ruby Wax and Judith Owen’s show ‘Losing It’ will return to theMenier Chocolate Factory on 17th May until 18th June
SANE is delighted to announce that we will be holding a series of mental health forums as part of the latest run.
Download the Press Release.
Each week there will be an opportunity to listen to leading experts from the fields of psychology, psychiatry and neuroscience. Ruby Wax, Judith Owen and Marjorie Wallace founder and chief executive of SANE, will then join the expert for a question and answer session.
The schedule of speakers is as follows:
16th June – Camila Batmanghelidjh, Kids Company
This initiative follows on from the incredible success of Wax and Owen’s piece, ‘Losing It’. Here’s what the celebrities have been saying…
“This show is too important, too funny and thought-provoking, too touching and inspiring to miss. I recommend it wholeheartedly: it’s fabulous.”
Joanna Lumley
“Absolutely marvelous… Judith’s songs are beautiful.”
Ronnie Wood
“It’s ingeniuous and hysterical and blisteringly honest. Ruby Wax and Judith Owen explode the silence on mental illness, go where people have not dared to go before. They tell the tale that most want to pretend they have never experienced. And it’s reaaaaaally funny and you get wise at the same time. And if you are the depressed one, this is up there with Prozac with no known side effects.”
Helena Bonham Carter
Mental Health Forum #4
Are you free this afternoon? Fancy taking part in the next instalment of what has been an increasingly successful series of mental health forums?
The fourth in the Wax/Owen mental health forums is today! Come along to the Menier Chocolate Factory from 2-4pm to join in the discussion. Here comes the blurb…
Due to overwhelming demand Ruby Wax and Judith Owen’s show ‘Losing It’ will return to theMenier Chocolate Factory on 17th May until 18th June
SANE is delighted to announce that we will be holding a series of mental health forums as part of the latest run.
Download the Press Release.
Each week there will be an opportunity to listen to leading experts from the fields of psychology, psychiatry and neuroscience. Ruby Wax, Judith Owen and Marjorie Wallace founder and chief executive of SANE, will then join the expert for a question and answer session.
The schedule of speakers is as follows:
9th June – Professor Mark Williams, Clinical Psychologist, Oxford
16th June – Camila Batmanghelidjh, Kids Company
This initiative follows on from the incredible success of Wax and Owen’s piece, ‘Losing It’. Here’s what the celebrities have been saying…
“This show is too important, too funny and thought-provoking, too touching and inspiring to miss. I recommend it wholeheartedly: it’s fabulous.”
Joanna Lumley
“Absolutely marvelous… Judith’s songs are beautiful.”
Ronnie Wood
“It’s ingeniuous and hysterical and blisteringly honest. Ruby Wax and Judith Owen explode the silence on mental illness, go where people have not dared to go before. They tell the tale that most want to pretend they have never experienced. And it’s reaaaaaally funny and you get wise at the same time. And if you are the depressed one, this is up there with Prozac with no known side effects.”
Helena Bonham Carter
Letters to the Editor: Science vs. Magic
I am a very proud daughter.
My dad got his letter to the Times printed. In full. In bold. With a photo of a rainbow.
OK, I’ll explain that.
On June 4th, there was an article printed in the Times Opinion pages, by one Raymond Tallis, accusing scientists of suffering from “Darwinitis” and “Neuromania” – seeing our obsession with scientific explanations for the human condition as some kind of disease. Tallis argues that humans are simply not explainable by science, evolution, brain scans and so forth.
Well, my dad responded by saying… Oh hell, read it for yourself; he puts it so well (Dr Alex Christie; click to see the bigger picture)
The little bit of paper in the right hand corner is a response to my dad, printed a day later. So glad the Rev Graham Hellier has such a long, considered response. He entirely misses the point, and just as an aside? Referring to nature as a “she” is a mere colloquialism. Dear, oh dear, oh dear.
Any thoughts?
Do I know you?
Dissertation hell. OK, I say hell – it’s not that terrible. I could probably have made it a bit easier on myself by starting work in earnest a bit earlier in the year, but what’s done is done and I might as well just have a long hard slog now.
If you’ve read previous blog posts, then you will be aware that I’m writing my dissertation about a rare brain disorder called prosopagnosia – prosopagnosia is an inability to recognise people’s faces. I’ve been designing a battery of tests to test the extent of my patient’s deficits, including some face recognition tests, but also some voice and semantics tests, to see if her recognition problems run further than faces.
Designing the famous faces tests were fairly straight forward – google image search is a wonderful thing, and I am a dab-hand with photoshop (for cutting out the oval of the face – not for warping anything!). The only thing I struggled with there was actually just thinking up the names of enough famous people. I am useless with names.
Image from KatyB Photography
The semantics test was a little harder, although almost done – for that, the same problem applies, in that I’ve had to think up the names of 48 of each politicians, musicians, actors and sports personalities.
Finally, voice recognition. This is proving a real pain in the neck. Firstly, audio manipulation is not my “bag” – if anyone knows of a simple way to cut out a snippet of a sound clip, please let me know.
The second problem with finding suitable sound clips is the content of those clips – if I wanted the participant to identify a clip of Arnold Schwarzenegger speaking, I would want them to identify him by his VOICE, not by what he’s saying – it might well be that they know his films well, and could recognise the quote “I’ll be back”, but not necessarily by his own unique voice. So I have to be careful of the content of the clip – if I have a clip of Gordon Brown talking about the financial crisis, the participant might deduce “politics – Scottish male speaker – must be Brown”. That’s not the skill I’m looking to identify.
But on the bright side, once my tests are designed, the fun begins (ha ha). I can start running tests – I have one case study to test, and then I need preferably 10 age-matched female controls. In case you’re keen to help me with my research, you need to be between 37-47, female, white British and able to meet me in London for testing some time over the next couple of weeks. No time wasters
Then the write-up begins, then I submit the draft for marking, then the re-write, then (hopefully!!) I graduate and then…? Then, ladies and gentleman, I likely have a nervous breakdown. Ha ha.
I’ll keep you posted.
Further Reading:
Music: Florence + The Machine
I’m a bit in love with ol’ Flo and her machine. This and “Howl” are particularly good. Remember, you must become the lion-hearted girl, ready for a fight.
Mental Health Forum #3
Just a quick reminder, as I’m busy baking cakes for…:
The third in the Wax/Owen mental health forums is today! Come along to the Menier Chocolate Factory from 2-4pm to join in the discussion. Here comes the blurb…
Due to overwhelming demand Ruby Wax and Judith Owen’s show ‘Losing It’ will return to theMenier Chocolate Factory on 17th May until 18th June
SANE is delighted to announce that we will be holding a series of mental health forums as part of the latest run.
Download the Press Release.
Each week there will be an opportunity to listen to leading experts from the fields of psychology, psychiatry and neuroscience. Ruby Wax, Judith Owen and Marjorie Wallace founder and chief executive of SANE, will then join the expert for a question and answer session.
The schedule of speakers is as follows:
2nd June – Professor Shitij Kapur, Institute of Psychiatry
9th June – Professor Mark Williams, Clinical Psychologist, Oxford
16th June – Camila Batmanghelidjh, Kids Company
This initiative follows on from the incredible success of Wax and Owen’s piece, ‘Losing It’. Here’s what the celebrities have been saying…
“This show is too important, too funny and thought-provoking, too touching and inspiring to miss. I recommend it wholeheartedly: it’s fabulous.”
Joanna Lumley
“Absolutely marvelous… Judith’s songs are beautiful.”
Ronnie Wood
“It’s ingeniuous and hysterical and blisteringly honest. Ruby Wax and Judith Owen explode the silence on mental illness, go where people have not dared to go before. They tell the tale that most want to pretend they have never experienced. And it’s reaaaaaally funny and you get wise at the same time. And if you are the depressed one, this is up there with Prozac with no known side effects.”
Helena Bonham Carter
I Want To Ride My Bicycle
As I mentioned yesterday, you may have notice that summer is pretty much here. Really, I should be lounging somewhere in the sun, not wearing very much. But I have this love affair with food (affair? It’s the longest relationship I’ve ever had) which means I don’t suit skimpy beachwear.
But another joy of summer is that it’s cycling weather. On yer bike, and all that. I need some encouragement – London is a terrifying cycling experience, and I don’t much like leaving the house. So good news: I can fit my mountain bike in the back of my new car! Hurrah – get out to the country with the bike.
But should I want to cycle in the city, there is encouragement there too. The famous “Boris Bike” scheme makes bikes accessible to all, and whilst I have never used them myself (I have my own bike, and therefore have no need for hiring one), they seem to have been a great success with the general public.
Image from The Bike-sharing Blog
And TFL have now set up the London Cycle Challenge 2011 - you can sign up, join a team (get your workplace or school/college to set one up) or set up you own team of friends and family, then between 18th June – 18th July, you can log the miles you cycle. Miles equate to points, and of course, points mean prizes. Find out more on the TFL website.
Not a cycling commuter and want some ideas of where to cycle in London for pleasure? No problem. TFL are here to help again – they are supplying free paper maps for different areas of London, each map with many different route suggestions. Order them here.
And finally: please stay safe. They design some pretty cool helmets nowadays, and you can get neon reflective stickers in a multitude of designs (I have them in the shape of pawprints. Hurrah!) Lights at night, and try not to weave in traffic too much. Oh, and have fun!!
Mental Health Forum
OK, early start because I have an exam in a few hours, so sorry this post is brief.
I just wanted to remind you all that the second in the Wax/Owen mental health forums is today! Come along to the Menier Chocolate Factory from 2-4pm to join in the discussion. Here comes the blurb…
Due to overwhelming demand Ruby Wax and Judith Owen’s show ‘Losing It’ will return to theMenier Chocolate Factory on 17th May until 18th June
SANE is delighted to announce that we will be holding a series of mental health forums as part of the latest run.
Download the Press Release.
Each week there will be an opportunity to listen to leading experts from the fields of psychology, psychiatry and neuroscience. Ruby Wax, Judith Owen and Marjorie Wallace founder and chief executive of SANE, will then join the expert for a question and answer session.
The schedule of speakers is as follows:
19th May – Dr Mark Collins, Psychiatrist, Priory, Roehampton
26th May – Professor Lewis Wolpert, leading writer on depression
2nd June – Professor Shitij Kapur, Institute of Psychiatry
9th June – Professor Mark Williams, Clinical Psychologist, Oxford
16th June – Camila Batmanghelidjh, Kids Company
This initiative follows on from the incredible success of Wax and Owen’s piece, ‘Losing It’. Here’s what the celebrities have been saying…
“This show is too important, too funny and thought-provoking, too touching and inspiring to miss. I recommend it wholeheartedly: it’s fabulous.”
Joanna Lumley
“Absolutely marvelous… Judith’s songs are beautiful.”
Ronnie Wood
“It’s ingeniuous and hysterical and blisteringly honest. Ruby Wax and Judith Owen explode the silence on mental illness, go where people have not dared to go before. They tell the tale that most want to pretend they have never experienced. And it’s reaaaaaally funny and you get wise at the same time. And if you are the depressed one, this is up there with Prozac with no known side effects.”
Helena Bonham Carter
Dirty Rotten Cheapskate #2
Holy mother-load, Batman.
I have been charity shopping. Having been on a knitting binge, I remember that my local Trinity Hospice shop used to have a big mug full of donated needles. When I went there, the mug had gone. Sad face. So I asked the staff if they’d sold them all – no, they weren’t selling, so they had been moved to the store room. They went and got me a massive tangle of well over 200 needles. I bought the lot for a tenner – they were happy to be rid of the mismatched assortment of unsellable pointy things.
After a sort through, about 70 needles are unpaired. A shame. Unless someone wants a bundle of odd needles (I’m sure SOMEONE in the ‘verse can think of something to do with them…) they will be chucked out.
BUT. I now have a mass of knitting needles. Yay! Mainly standard straights and a mass of dpns, but I also found one circular needles, 4 crochet hooks (like I need more of those…) and three stitch counters.
Obviously, some are doubles. I have, for example, 10 sets of 3.75mm needles. So here’s my proposal: if you knit or know someone who knits (or wants to take it up), then have a look at my needle collection on Ravelry. I am happy to get rid of sets for as little as 50p (plus a nominal charge to cover p&p, if you want me to post them out to you). Please note: I’m only willing to sell on needles I have DOUBLES or more of. Please don’t ask for things I only have one of.
And if you fancy that bucket load of odd-needles, I’ll let you have the lot for a quid.
Yay!
V&A: The Cult of Beauty
On Friday, I met up with my mum and aunt, who were having a day out in London. They had already been to see Jan Gossaert’s (Flemish, like they are!) work at the National Gallery by the time I met up with them, and had a cheeky sit in at a lunch time concert at St Martin-In-The-Fields whilst they were waiting for me to arrive, so I knew they were on a culture binge. After a spot of lunch, we decided to round off the day with a visit to the Victoria & Albert museum.
After a drift through the hall of statues (the first gallery you come to after entering via the subway), we decided to avail ourselves of the temporary exhibition on the 1860-1900′s aesthetic movement, The Cult Of Beauty.
As all three of us are avid lovers of all things Art Noveau, it drew us in immediately. With a philosophy best summed up by Morris, “Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful”, the aesthetic movement was a celebration of beauty. Whilst I wasn’t mad on everything in the exhibition, there was an astoundingly large selection to choose from. My favourites included Pavonia (the picture used in the promotional material, as above), Proud Maisie, The Beguiling of Merlin and Louise Jopling. I was also deeply drawn in by the beautiful statue, Mors Janua Vitae (death is the gateway to life) by Harry Bates – the picture on that website does not do it justice; it is stunningly beautiful and more than a bit unnerving.
As well as being crammed full of beautiful paintings, sketches and sculpture, The Cult of Beauty also boasts some architectural drawings (including sketches for Whistler’s famous Peacock Room), Morris wallpapers, pottery, a set of wrought iron gates, some beautiful clothing and astonishing feats of carpentry. Oscar Wilde gets a mention or two, and there is a poster for a play entitled “Quite Too Utterly Utter”, which makes me grin like a loony.
The exhibition is on until the 17th of July, and is well worth the price of the ticket. We spent a good couple of hours in there, and would have taken even more time if we hadn’t started flagging after a long day.
Tickets are priced at £12 Full, £9 Seniors citizens, £7 Full time students, ES40 holders, 12-17 year olds, £31/£19 Family tickets (2 adults and 2 12-17 yrs/1 adult and 2 12-17 yrs)
Find full details on the V&A website.
Waxing Lyrical
Yesterday saw the first in a series of Mental Health forums at the Menier Chocolate Factory, hosted by Ruby Wax, Judith Owens, and the folks from mental health charity SANE (whom I volunteer for).
We weren’t really sure how the afternoon was going to run – we just turned up with promotional materials and rather a lot of cake. After a “set up” (plastering said promotional materials around the theatre’s foyer), Ruby Wax appeared. She is quite full-on (you can gather that from seeing her on TV), but a genuinely friendly person.
The forum itself was preceded by a 30 minute “mingle” in the foyer, which I personally felt we could’ve done without – especially as we weren’t doing tea & cake until after the forum. The foyer before you go in is a little cosy, but with beautiful wooden beams and curios to keep your eyes occupied, you soon forget about any concerns about personal space.I felt like some audience members were just hanging around until the talk started, and maybe felt at a loose end. We’d said the forum would start at 2pm, but we didn’t actually go through to the theatre until 2:30.
The Menier Chocolate Factory is an adorable little theatre – an unusual building, with big wooden doors, it’s not somewhere I’d imagine going to see a performance. However, the theatre itself is an intimate space, allowing performers (or in this case, speakers) to communicate directly to their audience. My only criticism would lie with audience sight lines – something about the lay out of seats makes it very difficult for certain rows to see the stage.
Wax’s intro seemed a little unprepared, but her enthusiasm more than made up for it. The theme of the talk was depression as an ignored illness – the day’s guest speaker, Dr. Mark Collins (Wax’s own psychopharmacologist, or “drug dealer” as she called him), emphasised the fact that many people still deny depression even exists. He gave us a potted history of depression, what might cause it, how there’s no one cause, no one cure… I didn’t agree with everything he said (some stuff about lateralisation of brain function, but we won’t go there), but he was an excellent speaker.
An audience Q&A session followed, where we heard about some people’s own personal experiences of stigma and discrimination. Some was very difficult to hear, but some was actually pretty wonderful (for instance, the gallery owner who was helping one gentleman (suffering from mental illness) to get his artwork exhibited). Audience members also discussed alternative therapies, and the ongoing budget cuts that are crippling people’s lives.
Finally, we filed back out to the foyer for tea and cake, and a chance for people to talk to the SANE representatives about support options. Unfortunately, we didn’t get out to the tea and cake until about 3:35, and we had to be cleared up and gone by 4pm (as the theatre had to set up for that evening’s performance). Hopefully, now we know what the forums will entail, we can re-jig the setup, and make sure that there is plenty of time for refreshments and opportunities to talk to the folks at SANE.
However, if you do want to know more about mental health support in your area (in the UK), please don’t forget that SANE have a wonderful new website, a helpline, an email support service, and an online Support Forum.
There are FOUR more Mental Health Forums coming up over the next four weeks at the Menier Chocolate Factory. They are every Thursday, 2-4pm, and are entirely free to attend. It gives you an opportunity to find out more about mental illness, discuss issues with others, and talk to the guys at SANE, face-to-face. Find out more here.
I didn’t get a chance to go much further than the theatre itself, but the Menier Chocolate Factory also boasts an art gallery and a cute looking restaurant. Maybe next time..
Ruby Ruby Ruby (Wax)
An invite from the mental health charity SANE, straight to you:
Invitation!
Ruby Wax Mental Health Forums
SANE is delighted to invite anyone affected by mental illness or who would like to know more about mental illness to:
A series of free forums at the Menier Chocolate Factory theatre.
Guest speakers from psychology, psychiatry and neuroscience.
Ruby Wax & Judith Owen share their experiences of mental illness.
Marjorie Wallace, SANE, joins Ruby, Judith and guest speaker for Question and Answer sessions.
* Tea and home-made cakes provided *
SANE Services staff available to talk about how SANE can help and to signpost to other helpful services.
Dates and speakers:
Thursday 19th May: Dr Mark Collins, Psychiatrist, Priory, Roehampton
Thursday 26th May: Professor Lewis Wolpert, leading writer on depression
Thursday 2nd June: Professor Shitij Kapur,Institute ofPsychiatry
Thursday 9th June: Professor Mark Williams, Clinical Psychologist,Oxford
Thursday 16th June: Camilla Batmanghelidh, Kids Company
2pm – 4pm
Menier Chocolate Factory
53 Southwark Street,London,SE1 1RU
Nearest tubes: London Bridge (Northern and Jubilee lines); Southwark (Jubilee line)
Nearest overground: London Bridge Buses: 381
This is a unique occasion and will be relaxed, fun and informative
The Damnation of Faust
Yesterday, I turned 23. I won’t dwell on my troubles accepting the passage on time, but instead dive right in with the festivities.
Last year, Ben and I were thinking about going to the opera. Ben had never been to the opera before, and I wanted to treat him to a really good production. So, a browse around revealed that Terry Gilliam would be directing a production of Berlioz’s fantastic ”The Damnation of Faust” in May 2011. OK, not strictly an opera, but I performed it a few years back (playing bass in an informal music camp production (in a barn. Ask, if you’re curious), with the wonderful (Sussex based!) Neil Jenkins singing Dr Faust) and fell deeply in love with it. Oh, and Terry Gilliam is awesome, so extra bonus.
I booked my tickets as soon as they went on sale. I was on hold a mighty long time on the morning of November the first, but I didn’t care – I was determined to get good tickets for the matinee on my birthday.
B-Day (as opposed to D-Day) came around mighty fast, and yesterday afternoon found us lurking around the London Coliseum in anticipation. Soon, we were sat with a great view from the stalls (row J, which is close enough to actually see facial expressions, but not so close as to strain your neck).
It. Was. Amazing. From the brief spoken opener from Mephisto, through Faust’s heart-wrenching soliloquies (get an idea of how beautiful the music is from the first scene), the comedy songs, Faust’s descent into hell, and Marguerite’s requiem to close.
Like most ENO productions, it was in English (as opposed to the original French) – but there were sur-titles anyway, just in case you couldn’t make out the words. Personally, I had no trouble hearing, as all of the cast had beautiful voices and clear annunciation.
The scenery was out of this world, and I think there was more than a nod to to this famous painting (The Wanderer Above the Mists, Caspar David Friedrich) in terms of the scope of the opening scene, and Faust’s mad hair (although Berlioz himself was known for his flamboyant ginger locks) -
The running Nazi-metaphor was a good choice in my opinion – without it, we could have been left with some slap-stick demon story, but instead, comparisons drawn with WWII gave us something a lot darker, and far more Real.
And a special mention MUST go to Christopher Purves, singing the part of Mephisto. He had such an easy sounding voice, and was the archetypal cool, smooth demon. He was lurking around the stage whilst the human characters got about their business, and had so many costume changes (so smoothly executed) that I couldn’t keep track. The devil is everywhere: keep your eyes peeled.
Photo from The Guardian website
DEFINITELY worth seeing, should you get the chance. There are only 8 performances left, so you’d better get a move on. Tickets are going from £21 each, available via the ENO website.
Incidentally, if you are a student, or under 30 years old, DO apply for Access All Arias. It’s free, and you get top-notch tickets for cut prices. Made my birthday a bit cheaper, and meant that I could treat myself to two restaurant meals in one day. More about that tomorrow. Cheerio!
