Dirty Rotten Cheapskate #2
Holy mother-load, Batman.
I have been charity shopping. Having been on a knitting binge, I remember that my local Trinity Hospice shop used to have a big mug full of donated needles. When I went there, the mug had gone. Sad face. So I asked the staff if they’d sold them all – no, they weren’t selling, so they had been moved to the store room. They went and got me a massive tangle of well over 200 needles. I bought the lot for a tenner – they were happy to be rid of the mismatched assortment of unsellable pointy things.
After a sort through, about 70 needles are unpaired. A shame. Unless someone wants a bundle of odd needles (I’m sure SOMEONE in the ‘verse can think of something to do with them…) they will be chucked out.
BUT. I now have a mass of knitting needles. Yay! Mainly standard straights and a mass of dpns, but I also found one circular needles, 4 crochet hooks (like I need more of those…) and three stitch counters.
Obviously, some are doubles. I have, for example, 10 sets of 3.75mm needles. So here’s my proposal: if you knit or know someone who knits (or wants to take it up), then have a look at my needle collection on Ravelry. I am happy to get rid of sets for as little as 50p (plus a nominal charge to cover p&p, if you want me to post them out to you). Please note: I’m only willing to sell on needles I have DOUBLES or more of. Please don’t ask for things I only have one of.
And if you fancy that bucket load of odd-needles, I’ll let you have the lot for a quid.
Yay!
Ross Noble
A lot of you will have seen this already, but I just had a poster project assessment and can’t be bothered with hard blogging right now.
So me, with comedian Ross Noble! Rock on.
Stockwell Skatepark
A bit bleary today – no write ups for you.
Instead, have this short video of Stockwell Skatepark, taken by Ben moments after the old man attempted some tricks on his bike. Silly fool. (this was a few days ago. Now he has severe backpain. Funny, that).
Books: Bad Science
You might have come across Ben Goldacre before – via his column in the Guardian, or via his Twitter-based angry ramblings. So you’ll know that this guy suffers no fools.
Doctor, journalist, science cheerleader – Ben Goldacre is perfectly positioned to expose malpractice in the world of science and medicine. And how well he does it.
Bad Science is, at its heart, a light-hearted non-fiction read. It made me laugh a lot (Brain Gym? Really?) but, I have to be honest, it made me a bit depressed. Although it made me feel smug and self-righteous (yes, detox and homeopathy are bunk! And here’s why…), it also made me despair – particularly the new chapter (unpublishable in the first edition, as Goldacre was going through a court case at the time) about Matthius Rath and AIDS in South Africa. You might think Big Pharma is evil. It is, but you ain’t seen nothing yet…
Goldacre doesn’t just make sweeping claims – he supports his views with example after example of evidence. With a comprehensive reference list and suggested further reading at the end of the book, Goldacre has nothing to hide. But it’s hard to feel empowered when he admits that the quacks have won, and things will always be this way – Bad Science is entrenched.
A thoroughly recommended read: very accessible, enlightening, funny, and realistic.
Films: The Men Who Stare at Goats
Mighty unusual film, this. Yes, there is a degree of goat-staring, but that is not the entire plot.
A dark comedy, based around true events (Americans are weeeeeird), we follow the story of the PSYOP movement. Some of it is frighteningly believable (and historically ineffective in terms of interrogation methods) such as the brainwashing techniques (Barney the Dinosaur, anyone?), but some of it, I find hard to swallow (I’m not into the whole “psychic” thing. Although I know people who are, so I will not pass judgement).
However, believable or not, this film is very fast-paced, pretty whacky (Clooney seems to be doing a lot of whacky at the moment) and very entertaining.
Drugs! Goats! Moustache! And dancing. Lots of dancing.
Get with it.
Books: Unseen Academicals
Terry Pratchett is back on form. This is the best book he’s written in a long while, no argument. This is back to the hard-as-nails, philosophical, quick-firing Discworld that we all originally fell in love with.
And there is football.
Wait. What? I hate football.
But don’t fret – it’s not all about football. In fact, football is just a vehicle for the moral story (as it should be). I can’t reveal to you too much, but if I liked it, it can’t be that football heavy, right?
The wizards are back (and it’s lovely to see them again) – even Rincewind makes an appearance, which is good fun, but I’m glad he was just background colour, as I feel his days in the limelight are over (and I think he thinks so too). The Watch are everpresent, but again, this is not their Moment.
In fact, the main characters are new: the working class! Hurrah. They have names and personalities, now. And one of those is the delightful Mister Nutt, a goblin with a mysterious past…
OK, enough teasing. Go read it.
IQsquared: Freedom of Information
Apparently, information just wants to be free. Does it? And do we want to liberate it?
I was hoping Jack Klaff of Intelligence Squared and his panel of experts would be able to give us some insight, but we didn’t seem to get anywhere close to a firm answer. As one speaker, Murad Ahmed (technology correspondent, The Times) tweeted mid-debate -
@muradahmed: Member of the audience at #iq2infofree says she’s confused about what we’re talking about. Oh dear
And, loathe to admit it, I’m sure that’s how many of us felt. The 90min open conversation bounded from research data, to WikiLeaks, to the current state of Libya and Egypt, to freedom of expression, to something about Inuits (I’m sorry, Nicola Triscott – I didn’t really follow, and you spoke so briefly! As the only woman on the panel, I would have liked you to have had more part in the discussion).
As the heated discussion was so varied, I think I’ll stick to what I know best: the availability of scientific research data. It’s notoriously difficult to get hold of, and Daniel Glaser (of the Wellcome Trust) explained why: when a scientist has been slogging away with his research for ten years, and comes up with a nugget of worthwhile info, that scientist would find it pretty galling if another person looked at their data, and used it to produce their own nugget of worthwhile scientific info. They produce a similar glorious breakthrough, but without having to do the time-consuming monkey work.
So what’s the problem here? Resentment between scientists? If scientists shared their research data, they would theoretically save a lot of effort all around and reach valuable conclusions faster. But then they’d have to share the glory – and unfortunately, as Dr Layla McCay put it -
@laylamccay: Of course. Altruism is not the most reliable motivator, and people do want to eat and feed their families…
But let’s not write off all scientists – as I pointed out on Twitter (and several people RTed, so I can only assume they agree), some scientists have a pure love of scientific knowledge, and are not just doing their research for money and glory. But, sadly, they are increasingly few and far between.
I won’t dwell on the subject of info released all over social networking sites (we’ve heard it all before – at one point in the evening, behaviour on Facebook and Twitter was coupled with the words “idiotic” and “naive”), but just to say: common sense, people. As with all things in life, if you don’t want people to know, then DON’T SAY IT.
What do you think? Do you think more information should be made public? Where do we draw the line? An article published in the Lancet in January suggested that it should be a condition of research funding that the research data is made freely available. Do you agree?
Read more about last night’s debate (and listen to it yourself, should you be so inclined!) on the IQsquared website.
You can go to many other IQsquared events around London – see their website for details.
The Dana Centre (where last night’s debate was hosted) is in South Kensington (down the road from the Natural History Museum), and is part of the Science Museum. They run regular talks and other events, most of them free. See their website for further details.
The hashtag from last night’s debate was #iq2infofree – feel free to have a look at what people were saying during the talk.
Films: Tangled
HAH. Weren’t expecting that one, were you? Well, think again. I’m not all angst and darkness. No, contrary to popular belief, I love Disney films. Well, some of them, at any rate.
And Tangled is definitely one of those that I love. I was beginning to get a bit jaded as far as “modern” Disney was concerned, but Rapunzel, her “magic hair that glows when she sings”, the charming Flynn Rider (who, trust me, has more depth than he originally lets on), the brave horse Maximus and the BRILLIANT chameleon Pascal, have most certainly won me over.
OK, OK, this is a pretty saccharine twist on the original Brothers Grimm incarnation, but then, that is the fate of the fairy tale in the modern age – it must be sweet and light (with some mild peril), and of course, it must be moral.
And I’m happy to say, Tangled ticks all the boxes. The goodies are good, the baddies are bad, there are reformed criminals and heroic animals. Someone is called Eugene (a name that has sadly been too long forgotten). There are a lot of very well written songs (yes, it’s semi-musical) including the fantaaaaastic “Mother Knows Best” (brilliant, as I was at the cinema with my mum). I’m still confused as to why Rapunzel had no shoes, but I’m willing to overlook that. It is all beautifully animated (works well in 3D!) and the script is very sweet.
Oh, and there is lots of hair. That’s a given.
Cheers for more reminders that long hair is, in fact, awesome.
The Personal Touch
The workplace can be an impersonal place. I find it makes work easier if you make you work station a bit more fun, a bit more “you”. I think it’s really important to personalise your surroundings, especially those where you spend the majority of your waking hours. For me, that would be my desk at home, and for Ben, that’s his desk at work.
As a result, my desk is overflowing with stickers and brightly coloured things (including some pheasant feathers in my pen pot). But you can’t go too over-the-top in the office – it has to be small and subtle.
With that in mind, I’ve gifted Ben with various bits and pieces for his work desk – a little blue wolf from IKEA (I liked his funny grin), a tin of Stewie mints from Cyber Candy (he LOVES Family Guy) and…. a diplodocus.
I’ll explain the diplodocus. He’s the newest addition, having joined Ben’s desk-gang only yesterday. Ben was having a tough day at work on Tuesday, and sent me a message telling me so. Then he sent me a message saying “if you loved me, you’d buy me a dinosaur!”
Naturally, I asked him to specify what kind.
And one afternoon detour via the Natural History Museum left me with old dippy.
I hope the wolf isn’t mean to him. He’s a big softie.
What about you? What little trinkets or personal touches have you brought to your workplace?
Games: Lego Batman
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na…
BATMAN!!
Man, I love Batman. Pretty much all Batman stuff is awesome, right? Well, the less said about “Batman & Robin” (with Mr Freeze) and the awful Halle Berry “Catwoman” films, the better.
But even Adam West’s camp crusader was charming. The modern Christian Bale incarnation is awesome, but the cheesey films with Michael Keaton and Val Kilmer will always hold a special place in my heart.
And I think this is one of the main reasons Lego Batman won me over so much – it’s a cheese fest! You get to play a whole host of characters, including the adorable Harley Quinn and the infamous “Mr Freeze”. Look out for the cringe-worthy Man-bat and Killer Moth, too. And of course, you get to be the Caped Crusader himself, or, if you’re so inclined, his bumbling sidekick, Robin.
Every character has their pros and cons – my personal favourite is to play Poison Ivy, but the Joker is good fun too.
I got VERY sucked into the Batman world – lots of things to smash up (in order to collect “studs”, “mini-kit” and Power Blocks, which all unlock extra goodies in the game) and plenty of little puzzles to solve.
Certain parts of the game are off-limits the first time you play through, but once you have unlocked “free play” in a chapter, you can switch between characters at your leisure, therefore making previously unobtainable goodies accessible (e.g. if something was too high up for Batman to get, then use Poison Ivy – she can double-jump).
The game is not without its faults – lots of things to fall off, which gets frustrating rather than just challenging, and I got “stuck” several times. Also, the two-player mode is not perfect – when you go in opposite directions, you can only go so far, because the game does not go split screen. So be prepared to argue about who is in charge – but then, I suppose that’s why they call it co-op.
All in all, a fine romp. Ben and his sister tell me that it’s the lest fun of the Lego games, which bodes well for the others – because I love it.
Bridgewood Manor Comedy Club
Woo! I’ve had a fun couple of days, despite it all being based in Chatham, of all places.
Friday saw me trek to Kent, alongside my friends Sarah and Matt. When there, we found our way to Bridgewood Manor Hotel – a 4* hotel on the edge of Chatham (yes! Chatham has a 4*!)
After a bit of faffing and madness, I left Sas and Matt to shower and went down to prop up the bar. Louise arrived just as I got downstairs, so we went to pester the barman together! A G&T for me, a large glass of red for her, and we chin-wagged until the married couple came downstairs. Soon after, the fifth and final member of our party (Callum) pulled up a chair, and we celebrated a long-awaited reunion get-together.
Dark photo yoinked off Matt. DON’T SUE!! 
Bridgewood Manor Hotel was surprisingly nice. All the staff I encountered were very friendly and great service, and the hotel itself was spacious and tidy. Whilst I didn’t stay the night at the hotel, Sas and Matt did – their room was the standard hotel room layout, but pleasingly neat and tidy. You’d have to ask them if the bed was squishy and the shower wet enough. As far as facilities are concerned, a rental of the room gave access to the hotel’s own swimming pool (meaning Sas nipped to the Asda next door to buy herself swimwear!)
But our main calling to Bridgewood Manor was to filter into one of their many conference halls (the Hythe suite) to experience their Comedy Club experience. For a mere £23.95, we were treated to a 2-course meal and two comedy acts (plus a brash and crass lady-compère). The food was a generic crowd pleaser – roast chicken with veg and sautéed new potatoes for the mains, and muddled summer fruits with whipped cream for dessert. Nothing special, but it was well executed (although some bread to sop up my gravy would have been appreciated).
The comedy acts, more importantly, were a mixed bag. As I said, the compère, whilst not terrible, was at times a bit of a cringe. But she soon introduced the first act, Joe Rowntree – very satisfying start. His observational comedy was spot on – even if the story about being thrown up on by a drunk on a night bus was revolting! The second act though, needed a lot of polishing. I’m sorry, I can’t remember his name. He was an impressionist, and he tried to do a gimmicky thing with 50 impersonations in 20 minutes, but it didn’t really work. He was good, but the act itself needs polishing. And he got heckled something rotten by the audience – I felt really bad for him. But rather than fight back, he would’ve done better to ignore them.
Ah well – all’s well that ends well. Had a great night out with friends, and it was all polished off with Krispy Kremes courtesy of Sas. Huzzah!
Food: Ben’s Chicken Schnitzel
I’m pleased. I lasted two whole weeks before crumbling to excess.
Yes, fine, I ate like a pig last night. I think it was all just Too Much for us both this week, and we needed food to comfort. Also, I went to visit my mum on Friday, and she gave me cake, and well… Sigh.
So, to make sure SOMETHING positive comes out of last night’s foodie debauchery, I share with you Ben’s recipe for chicken schnitzel.
You will need:
- Two packs of breaded chicken goujons
- A loaf of white bread (the unsliced kind)
- A head of lettuce
- A bunch of spring onions
- Mayo
- Ketchup
- Mustard
Let the madness begin:
- Put your goujons under the grill. ALL of them. Yes, I know it says on the packet to put them in the oven, but they don’t get nice and crispy that way. Trust me on this. A medium-high heat for 5-7 mins either side should do it. Keep an eye on them and use your judgement.
- Meanwhile, slice half of your spring onions and half of your lettuce nice and fine.
- Put the spring onion and lettuce into a bowl, and mix in a mixture of mayo, ketchup and mustard until it holds together. You really have to just use your judgement on this one – Ben made it a little too mustardy for my liking, but it was still awesome. As long as it’s not too sloppy, you can’t go wrong.
- Next, cut your loaf of bread clean in half, and hollow it out. No, really. Do what you like with the centre of the bread. Maybe whizz it up into bread crumbs for homemade fish cakes – this is really good for later in the week, when you realise the error of your ways and resort back to a healthy diet (my plan).
- Time to get filling! Your goujons should be done by now. We had enough goujons to do three layers. I advise you do it like this: lie three goujons flat on the bottom of the bread-crater, use a quarter of your salad to form a salad layer, then goujons, then salad, then top it off with goujons. Good luck getting your mouth around the damned thing.
- Eat.
- Regret.
Crafty: French Arrows
On Sunday, Ben went about gathering things: bamboo canes, a pack of cards, string, tape, a couple of nuts (of the “& bolts” variety) and a knife. Then, he had me make a flask of tea and bundled me into the car. I had no real idea where we were going, or why, and what the hell connects a pack of cards with bamboo garden canes anyway?
But I was study-fatigued, so I just went along with it.
We shortly arrived at Wimbledon Common. Yay! Cue me singing the Wombles song, over and over.
After a short walk, we came to an empty clearing by the rugby/football pitches, and sat on a log. Ben started getting out his kit, and crafting what we would later name his “Foxy Lawn Darts”. They are more colloquially known as “French Arrows”.
Ben learnt this technique from a workmate back when he was doing manual labour for British Telecom – he says it’s based on some neolithic spear, but I can’t find any evidence for this and I’m feeling lazy today (post-exam complacency?). If anyone else is any the wiser, please let me know, so that I can inform my readership.
What follows is a basic “how to”, but you can also find a nifty little guide on this website, which helpfully has a cute, low budget animation to make things a bit easier.
First up, select a nice, straight, strong piece of bamboo cane. You’ll need to cut a cross in one end – two vertical slits, about 3 inches deep, which cross over. This will be to insert your fletching! Please watch what you’re doing with your knife. I have a classical “don’t run with scissors!” type photo of Ben cutting whilst looking in the opposite direction.
Next, your fletching! This involves bastardising a pack of playing cards. You’ll only need 2 cards, so you could make 27 arrows out of a whole pack! You could do the whole “cut a slot in each and slot them together to form an x”, but we just folded each card in half.
Then, slide the cards down the cut slots at the top of your bamboo, so each card is like a corner. Line them up so you have your cross.
And now, bind it tightly shut! You could use string. We used tape.
Now, go to the other end of the cane. If you can fit a nut (of the “& bolts” variety) snugly over the end (so it stays put) then great. We had to whittle the bamboo a bit so that the nut only just slid on, but that was great because it meant it fit nice and tight, and didn’t come off when it came to throwing the arrow.
And, if you want, you can sharpen the end to a point, so that when thrown, it will stick in the ground. NOT ADVISED IF THERE ARE CHILDREN OR PETS PRESENT. Or, indeed, if you are a prat like me, and can’t throw.
The “stringing” of the arrow is a bit tricky to explain via text, so I advise you watch the animation on the aforementioned website to get to grips with that – they make it shockingly easy to understand.
Of course, what you really want to see is if it flies or not. Well, it does. And I can prove it, because we took video footage of the damned thing in action. Enjoy!!
P.S., If you make your own French arrows, I would LOVE to see the results. Photos, videos, or even just anecdotes. I’d never heard of them before Sunday, but they are AWESOME.
Food: Paxton’s Tower Lodge
Well, I promised you a post devoted to the food I made on our holiday, so here we are.
WARNING: CONTAINS MEAT. Please turn away if you are a vegetarian, vegan, or just a bit squeamish.
Whilst we ate a lot of junk (mainly sausage sandwiches, crisps, service station chocolate, and the metre of Jaffa cakes that Ben’s nephew & niece gave him for Christmas), there were a couple of beautiful creations, made by my own fair hands. OK, those were also fatty piles of calories, but hey, we were on holiday, and it was cold!
First up, I made my own spin on eggs Benedict. So much a spin, in fact, that you can’t really call them eggs Benedict. An English muffin, a slice of fried middle bacon, a fried egg, and a glob of creamy parsley sauce. We had three each (champion!! Did not need to eat anything until 9pm that evening)
OK, looking at that, I do feel a leeeettle bit sick. But they were amazing, I swear to god.
But let’s cut to the chase: there is only one real reason I wanted to write this post, and that reason is PIE.
I did, in fact, make the pie of a lifetime. Ben says it was the best thing I’ve ever cooked, and I will have a hard time EVER topping it. This makes me a happy housecat. But what made it so good? It all comes down to Kennington farmers’ market…
Every weekend, there is a farmers’ market outside the big church in Kennington, and just down the road lies FWR, the bike shop where Ben gets all his bike repairs done. So, one afternoon, nearly a year ago now, Ben was in Kennington having has bike looked at, and he decided to pop to the farmers market. Needless to say, he came home with three pheasants, a duck and a rabbit. Thankfully, they were all plucked and gutted.
Well, two of the pheasants met their end in the oven over the following weeks, but the final pheasant, and his two other woodland friends, remained in the freezer for many months. Then, a couple of months ago, I decided enough was enough, and chopped them into little bits.
Let it be known that I would be a pretty poor butcher.
However, I’d make a fairly awesome pie chef. I fried up the chunks of game with some cubes of black pudding, then threw in some roughly chopped garlic, a glass of red wine, a good glob of chilli jam and about half a pint of gravy (just for good measure). I let the gamey stew simmer away for about 2 hours, tasting and throwing in herby loveliness along the way. And then? I stuck it in a tupperware box and straight back in the freezer. D’oh.
But then Paxton’s lodge came around. I packed my tupperware box of game stew and a roll of puff pastry (ready made – what do you think I am?!) and on our last night at the cottage, it was only an hour of preparation until pie loveliness. I kept singing “I don’t think you’re ready for this pieee” at Ben (in the style of Destiny’s Child, as you do), which may have gotten annoying, but there we are.
Before pie could be assembled, of course I needed to make some sides. I had some basic ingredients at my disposal, so peeled some potatoes and carrots, and boiled them separately. The potatoes went straight into a tray of hot duck fat, and into the oven at about 180 degrees C. The carrots went into a roasting tin, with “rustically” chopped brown onions, a whole bulb’s worth of peeled garlic cloves, some chopped chillis and lashings of olive oil. That tin went in alongside the potatoes.
And now, the piece de la thingy, Landmark Pie. Easily done: big glass dish, pie filling in, topped with puff pastry. I pricked the top with a fork to let some steam out (as you do). Into the oven. 45 minutes later, this is what we were left with:
Think all that is too much for two people?
Think again.
This pie was nearly a year in the making. Truly epic. I miss it already.
The diet starts today.
TV: Horrible Histories
Any of my friendly Twitter followers *waves at you lot jovially* will have maybe seen me blurting out seemingly random lines recently, such as “I’m a fire stopper!”. Please do not be alarmed: I do know the words to The Prodigy’s hit single, so this is not some nerdy cock-up. This is another form of special nerdiness, which is in touch with my childhood in a beautiful way.
Oh yes, I LOVED the Horrible Histories books, and so I was filled with glee when the chaps over at the BBC made a children’s TV series based on Terry Deary’s genius combination of facts and fun. Whilst it’s a little sad that kids are being encouraged back towards the box and away from the books, it’s great that we’re sneaking education into their entertainment, once again. And it’s not just for kids, either – even Ben’s mum (who joined us in watching some HH over Christmas) was amazed to learn how much the Victorians invented.
Arguably, the best thing about HH is its fantastic songs. Oh yes yes yes. Catchy tunes have been forcing facts into our heads for many years, and HH songs are top notch. Some of the favourites in our household include “doing the Pachacuti”, the 4 Georges “Born 2 Rule” and of course….
Oh dear god, hunt it down and you’ll be hooked, I promise. And, just because I love you, here are the lyrics to help you along.
CHARLES II: KING OF BLING
My name is, my name is, my name is – Charles the second!
I love people and the people love me
So much that they restored the English monarchy
I’m part Scottish-French-Italian, a little bit Dane
But one hundred per cent party animal!
Champagne?
Spaniels I adored, named after me too
Like me they were fun with a natty hair-do.
Is today my birthday? I can’t recall
Let’s have a party anyway, because I love a masked ball
All hail – the King – of Bling – let’s sing – bells ring – ding-ding
I’m the King who brought back partying!
King Charles my daddy lost his throne and kings were banned
They chopped off his head, then Olly Cromwell ruled the land
Old Olly wasn’t jolly, he was glum and he was proud
Would be miserable as sin only ‘sinning’s not allowed’
When Cromwell died the people said ‘Charlie me hearty
‘Get rid of his dull laws, come back, we’d rather party.’
This action’s what they called the Monarchy Restoration
Which naturally was followed by a huge celebration
The King – of Eng-land say – no sin – to sing – or anything.
All say I’m the King who brought back partying
Great London Fire was a whopper
In my reign London city came a cropper
So this King did what was right and proper
Fought the fire, proved I’m more than a bopper
I’m a fire-stopper!
Married Catherine Braganza, she was a love so true
There would never be another, well maybe one or two
Lucy Walter, Nell Gwynn, Moll Davis, Barbara Villiers
You think that’s bad but her name’s not as silly as:
Hortense Manzini
As king I must admit I broke the wedding rules
But who cares when I brought back the crown jewels?
I reinstated Christmas, make-up, sport and even plays
I was the Merry Monarch they were Good Old Days
When said – and done – King Charles – did run – England – for fun
I was the King! Loved by everyone. My song is done.
Party anyone?
Lyrics written by Dave Cohen and music by Richie Webb
Books: How to Keep a Pet Squirrel
I got this little gem from Ben’s sister for Christmas – once upon a time, I expressed a wish to have a pet squirrel (they are ADORABLE) and she has remembered that ever since. So here was my first step!
From one of the brains behind the beautiful The Gruffalo (book is brilliant, the short film is lovely), here is a short book about squirrels. Whilst it is not advised to actually attempt to keep a squirrel as a pet (have rats instead), this little number is worth having a read for its wonderful illustrations alone.
Apparently based on a 1910 children’s encyclopaedia entry, this book advises plenty of nuts, and a large cage preferably with a trapeze. It’s charming and entertaining, and 10p from each book sale goes Save Our Squirrels!*
There’s not much else to say without spoiling the story, and I can’t exactly show you illustrations, so instead, here are some photos of me, feeding squirrels in Battersea Park.
*It’s great that they’re donating, but as the book costs £9.99 RRP, you would have hoped the publishers could have been a bit more generous…
Films: Sinbad: Legend Of The Seven Seas
I love DreamWorks films. Big time. The Road to El Dorado is one of my favourite films of all time. But Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas is one I haven’t seen quite so many times. In fact, before today, I had only seen it once, in 2003, when it came out in the cinema.
So I was overjoyed when I had the opportunity to watch it at my leisure in my own home. DreamWorks films have a dry sense of humour that sets them above Disney in my eyes. Plus, they have adopted a particular, angular drawing style which I get on quite well.
I have no idea how true this incarnation is to the original Sinbad tale. Probably not at all. But you know what? I don’t really care. It is an exciting, cartoon romp, which is good fun for kids and adults alike. There are sexy sirens, an exciting chase scene with the Roc (not the wrestler), an unlikely and begrudging love interest, a moral tale, a charming crew on the ship, a delightfully comic dog, and of course, a token “strong but gentle” muscley, shirtless black guy. Oh, yes.
Nothing earth-shattering, and I still prefer Road to El Dorado, but still a welcome, enjoyable distraction.
Holidays a’comin’
Tricky to be jolly at the moment. I’ve had a difficult couple of weeks, emotionally. And the weather has been dreary as. Every time I log on, eBay tells me it’s 35, 34, 33… days until Christmas, and my present stash is pitiful. I have put on weight. I have a lab report to write. It’s dark by 4pm.
It’s clear that I am having trouble feeling “Christmassy”. But then the Natural History Museum showed me the way.
Coming out of South Kensington tube station, you are met with a web of stars above your head. It was, frankly, a little magical. Nothing gaudy about NHM’s Christmas wonderland – they have strung the trees with simple white fairy lights, and obviously they have their beautiful outdoor ice rink and carousel. I stood and watched the skaters for a while, which was very calming.
So, who fancies a go? It’s open now until the 9th of January, from 10am ’til 10pm during the week, 8:45am ’til 10pm at the weekend. Adult ticket prices are £13 peak / £11.50 off-peak. So what are you waiting for?
Image credits: nope, they’re all my own.
What a lovely evening for a murder!
Oh, I do love going to Vin’s. Not only does she have a gorgeous house, but she and her mum are fabulous, wonderful hosts. The occasion for my latest visit? A Halloween Murder Mystery party, no less!
We left London a bit later than I would have hoped on Saturday – it was the first time I had navigated our way up to Vin’s house (Ben has never been, and I have only been via public transport) and I had planned to get there in plenty of time, so that I didn’t have to have my usual time-related panic. Oh well, the best laid plans and all that…
No matter. We got there on time, if not early. And we didn’t get TOO lost (although I did have to phone Vin twice for directions – that’s what happens when you live in a big house in the middle of bloody no where!!). We had enough time to get changed into character and fight into our contact lenses (yes, the monochrome bad boys made another appearance) before making our way down to the scene of the crime.
Aren’t we all beautiful? I had been given the part of Frankenstein’s monster, but being a girl, I tried to steer clear of comedy neck bolts. What you can’t see in the photo is all my crude stitch marks drawn on with eyeliner. I had by far the lamest costume, as you can see. You can also see here Dracula and his bride, Witchy, the von Addamses, a Cruella deVille type character and Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde. Ben is behind the camera – he was the von Addams’ zombie butler, Lurchio (and he looked gorgeous).
We set the scene (and had brief introductions with the people we hadn’t met before) in the living room. Next, the host (Witchy!) lead us through to the dining room. Vin and her mum had gone all our with the decorations, added to the fact that they have a huge, antique-stuff house, so it was an absolutely perfect setting for a horror-filled Halloween dinner. Already waiting for us were our appetisers (pre-chosen by the guests – either salmon blinis, prawn cocktail or pâté), and Mr & Mrs Drac poured us out some wine.
What followed was a scripted murder mystery (with some improvised interrogations), but despite having to follow the script, some fantastic, pantomime acting ensued. We stayed in character as much as we could, but it did fall apart once or twice when we got lost in the scripts, or when we were busy stuffing our faces with the delicious food. Which reminds me: Vin’s mum made a delicious beef goulash for the mains, accompanied by rice, sugar snap peas and french bread. And pudding was a superb home-made chocolate cheesecake (there was the option of fruit salad too, but I think the cheesecake won the day) and a fantastic, stinky cheese board. Eventually we had to put the cheese board away: delicious as it was, it did pong.
I won’t spoil the mystery plot, in the off chance that you come across it in the future: needless to say, the murderer got away scott-free, and we were all a little tiddly. But the company, the food, the decor and the evening in general was delightful. There was time for a final photo opportunity before we all got back into our civies, retired to the living room, and played Articulate whilst being pestered by Vin’s bear-sized dogs.
Thank you, guys!!
Toasted cheese-on-toast cheese bagel
A bit of a cop-out comedy post today, simply because I’m about to set off for the day to galavant about town with one of my old school friends (who I haven’t seen for about 3 years!)
So, what’s this? Ben and his dinner last night?
He looks way too happy. What is that? It can’t be healthy if he’s that pleased. And he made it himself…
That’s right folks. It’s cheese on toast, in a bagel. Ben will eat anything in a sandwich. Even if it’s another sandwich. Scratch that, ESPECIALLY if it’s another sandwich.
It’s so wrong. So very wrong.
But it does look tasty…
Baking with dinosaurs
A full English breakfast is an excellent remedy to a night out – well, we didn’t really drink much (I think I had one alcoholic drink actually at the club!) but it’s nice to have a fry up nonetheless. I made a breakfast of KINGS (everything I make is “of kings” damnit) for my house guests: it had pretty much everything. Bacon, black pudding, beans… Other things. I even attempted fried bread, and Sas and Ben ate it, so it must have been ok.
And then? Well, Sas and I did some baking. Well, Sas did all the hard work: she is a champion biscuit maker. I thrust recipes upon her, and dough she did mix.
Unfortunately, the first dough we made needed 2-3 hours in the fridge before cutting. We’re impatient, so we made another dough that could be cut faster. This dough is for my mum’s “Valentine or Swedish Hanging Biscuits”. Mum doesn’t really like the taste of them (I do!) but they are robust enough to be threaded onto ribbon and hung on the Christmas tree, and last for weeks without going stale.
Oh, you want to make some? Fair enough…
You will need:
- 230g margarine (I used unsalted butter. I always do. Feel free to do so also)
- 230g dark brown sugar
- 2 egg whites
- 450g plain flour
- 1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
- 1.5 teaspoons cinnamon
- pinch of ground cloves
OK, you know what? With the spices, be inventive. If you want vanilla biscuits, be my guest. My mum put “ginger optional” on the recipe, but didn’t say how much. I really don’t think it matters too much. I don’t have any ground cinnamon for example (I sent Ben out to buy cinnamon, and sticks are fine by him, apparently), so I used a combination of “mixed spices”, ground nutmeg and ground cloves. Measurements were very approximate.
Make them!
- Cream the margarine/butter and sugar together
- Beat in the egg white
- Sift the dry ingredients together into a bowl (I have no sieve. They turned out fine. You figure it out)
- Add a little at a time to the creamed mixture and blend together well to make a dough (if it was me mixing, I would have lumped in all the flour and gone mixing mad. Sas was very good and methodical and followed the instructions. It depends how patient you are)
- Wrap the dough in cling film and chill in the fridge (the dough that is) for 30 minutes (or freezer for 10 minutes – WE DID THIS
) - Preheat the oven! 180C
- Roll out the dough onto a floured surface, about 5mm thick (my biscuits varied so much from batch to batch. They all taste awesome)
- Use cookie cutters to cut out your biscuits and pop them on a baking tray. If you want to make hanging biscuits, now would be the time to use a drinking straw to pop a hole near the top of the biscuit.
- Pop into the oven for 10 – 12 minutes
- Allow to cool, and then DECORATE
My mum says this will make about 30 biscuits. I have no idea. I didn’t count.
So… How did we get on? Well, I have a variety of cutters (not as many as I want though!) including woodland critters from IKEA and dinosaurs from the Natural History Museum
We went bonkers. We made buttercream icing, and applied liberally to the biscuits like a couple of sugar hungry children. And after we were done? We ate the rest of the icing.
MAGIC.
Just a small selection of our efforts. Sas and Matt took a box of animals home to enjoy 
And what’s that on the bottom left? OH YES. IT’S A FOX.
You need to get baking. What are you still doing here?
She lives in a house, a very big house in the country
It’s been an odd sort of weekend. I only managed to update the blog yesterday by scheduling a post – isn’t technology magical?
And why did I need to schedule? Because I was away! I have been staying with the lovely Vin, in her enormous (no exaggeration) house in the East Anglian countryside. It’s her birthday tomorrow and so she invited me to come up and go to the theatre with a few other uni mates.
I had prebooked train tickets – if you are going any distance I would always recommend this. I managed to get them at £6.60 each way. Bargain. Getting up at 7am, I packed a bag, picked a nice dress and hopped on the bus. Of course, I got to Liverpool Street far too early, so killed time in the shops. Chocolate and New Scientist saw me through until my connecting train.
Eventually, I got up to East Anglia. I waited at the station for Vin, but she and the boys were late in coming – we had intended to take the train to Norwich, but ended up having to drive. We only got to the Theatre Royal 5mins late, so didn’t miss too much.
We were in to see Sheridan’s “The Rivals“, starring Penelope Keith and Peter Bowles, and directed by the very talented Peter Hall (of the RSC). It’s a bit of a farce, with plenty of dramatic irony and lots of confusion and hilarity. Vin originally described it to me as a “Victorian romcom” (well, it’s set in 1775 so a bit older than Victorian, but you get the idea), and yes: it ends up with everyone getting happily married, but it’s a very complicated journey to get to that point.
The costumes were beautiful, the comic timing was spot on – Lydia Languish did slow the pace a bit, but it looks a very tricky part to time well. Jack Absolute was GORGEOUS, as was the servant girl Lucy. We saw it on its final day in Norwich, but if it does come to the West End (which I hope it does) do try to catch it, because it is a very light hearted and enjoyable watch. Oh, and malapropisms are wonderful things. I will forever try to be the pineapple of politeness.
After the play, we headed back towards Vin’s going via a curry house. As I mentioned in a previous post, Vin is on a bizarre diet which means she isn’t eating like a normal person. Her mum is on the same diet. So is our old uni mate Ben (who lives with them). So that left me, uni mate Luke and family friend Kumba to stuff ourselves with curry. Ace. I picked a wimpish but delicious chicken passanda, sided with saag aloo and poppadoms.
I didn’t know what to expect with Vin’s house. I have never been before. I have not even seen photos.
Well, it is huge. It is GORGEOUS. She has a library, for christsakes. And yes, it has a SECRET DOOR BEHIND A BOOKCASE.
It also has two resident Newfoundland puppies, Thor and Jester. At only 16 weeks old and already the size of small bears, they are a bit of a handful (and are still going through the nippy bitey stage, which would be cute if they weren’t so HUGE) but they are adorable and dopey.
Anyhow, after curry, we retreated to the living room to sit in front of the fire and play Articulate. Not even fuelled by booze, we got incredibly competitive. I teamed with Ben and Luke, whilst Vin was with her mum and Kumba. I would like to state (for the record) that our team won, because THAT IS HOW WE ROLL.
Phew.
The dogs got a bit tetchy after a while, so we put them to bed and hung out in Ben’s room for a while (well, Ben and Luke mostly sat on each other. Vin poured water on them, but I think that was unwise. I sat in the vibrating LazyBoy instead). Around midnight, enough was enough for me – I retreated to my room (one of SIX bedrooms), read a bit and went to sleep.
The following morning, at about 6am, I needed a quick trip to the littlest room (except in Vin’s house, they too are huge and there are four of them). I got a bit lost and walked into Luke’s room by mistake. I tried another door: more success this time.
The house was pretty much awake by 10am, so we had a bit of breakfast (those of us who eat, anyhow), and then Vin and I went to take the doggies for a walk. The hilarious thing is, despite them being the size of small ponies, they refuse to get into the car boot by themselves, so Vin had to lift them in bodily. And take them out on the other side.
When we got back, there was enough time for some bread and cheese, and then I had to catch my coach to Colchester and connecting train back to London. And now I’m here! Phew.
I’ll be back there soon. If just to sneak in to the secret library.
Typical
Typical! Just about to have out Easter break from uni, and I come down with a horrid cold-thing. Obviously I can only get ill when I have the time. Just hope I’m not too ill to sing this weekend.
You may have noticed I rehauled the layout of my blog. This is more along the lines of how I want to brand my new shop. Still a bit generic at the moment, but I’m still working on it – just got a bit sick of the all-black look; I think I’m getting a bit too old for that! I plan to incorporate some other elements (cutesy ones!) but I’m fond of the London sky line. Still no firm thoughts on a name.
But what have I been working on, in preparation for my new shop? I’ve decided to focus on my strengths (i.e. easy things, that I believe I make well, and that sell!), being fibre crafts. I love making beaded jewellery, I believe I produce really nice pieces, and have received a LOT of compliments for my jewellery products – however, not a single jewellery piece has sold. So unfortunately, I’ll be calling a halt to production of jewellery for retail purposes – it is simply a flooded market. Any jewellery I make in the future will be only for me, or as gifts for friends.
So what does sell? Cute crochet things, like this:
It’s a mouse! Yay! I’m also working on other crochet critters, after the success of those ‘shrooms.
AND I ordered some new felting needles – my last one broke ages ago, and I never got around to replacing it.
And now, a Current News Rant
There is talk of altering Daylight Savings by an extra hour, to match the rest of Europe. The idea behind it is to make summer evenings longer - “If the clocks were put forward by two hours, it would mean summer evenings would be lighter for longer, with the sun setting at about 2200 BST in June.”
Now, for me, the issue would be yes, longer evenings, but DARK mornings. Not really a good start to the day.
However, what “farmers” seem to object to is that it would make their days very long. EH!?
One Devon poultry farmer: “I’d have to get up an hour earlier in the morning for my chickens and they wouldn’t go to bed any earlier – it would be about 1130 [2330] in the summer.”
No. No. Changing the clocks forward would not alter the laws of physics. “Time” is a manmade concept. There will still be as many hours of light in the day, we’re just shifting the label. Get up with the chickens, and go to bed with the chickens. If anything, you’d be getting up an hour LATER. Your chickens will get up with the sun, just like they always do. They won’t get up any earlier, just because you turned their clocks forward. In fact, if you give your chickens a clock, you’re a bit weird.
Chickens will NOT react to daylight savings. They won’t suddenly go “Oh, it’s still dark out, but the clock says 7am. I should probably get moving…”
It amazes me that people can be this stupid.
