Accept, commit, keep calm and carry on…

I’ve just had a very intensive week at uni which involved (among other things) a 3 full-day workshop of mindfulness and CBT training.
I’m sure the majority of you are familiar with these concepts, but in case you’re not:

Mindfulness meditation takes it roots in Buddhist meditation techniques. The key take-home messages are: be present in the moment, thoughts are not facts. It’s a nice, general way of slowing down, taking stock, and appreciating life. Want to know more? Try this or this.

CBT stands for “cognitive behaviour therapy” – essentially it’s a fancy way of saying “your thought patterns are maladaptive, let’s take a look at them and see if we can change the way you process them”. (Here’s a good general book: CBT, and here are a couple of good (chronic illness specific) books to get you started: Living with the Enemy, CBT for Chronic Illness)

But I’m not here to talk about Mindfulness or CBT. I’m here to talk about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (or ACT for short – even the acronym is delightful).

During our three-day course, my supervisor Prof Mark Cropley described ACT as “CBT with bells on”. I think it’s so much more than that, but that’s a nice, succinct way of describing it.
So if it’s got bells on, why do you rarely hear anything about it? Why is it that the layman has usually heard of at least one or both of Mindfulness or CBT, but ACT is not so widely known? Personally, I see the merits in both Mindfulness and CBT, but I would choose ACT over either of them, in most scenarios.

Maybe I should explain…

Over a year ago now I attended an conference for work. It was an all-day thing, and the speakers were a bit hit-and-miss, meaning some bits were fascinating, but a lot of it was dull dull dull. Luckily for me, the Frank Curtis library were pimping their wares, so I grabbed a book I thought looked interesting, and used it to stop myself falling asleep in public.

That book was Russ Harris’ “The Happiness Trap”. I’ve haven’t read a book so fast in a LONG time. None of the airy-fairy hippie other-worldlyness of Mindfulness (seriously, I mean what the hey?), and none of the saccharine endless positivity that comes with traditional CBT. ACT is refreshingly realist, with an attitude of “actually, being happy all of the time is not normal, bad stuff happens” (in fact, Harris has another book called “The Reality Slap“, which is on my wishlist…).


Please do not take this to mean that ACT teaches that life is rubbish and we might as well just accept that. More that it does all of the things that CBT does (i.e. aims to transform the way you process automatic thought processes) but without the underlying, unspoken belief that the goal is perfect, continuous happiness. ACT WILL NOT STOP BAD THINGS FROM HAPPENING. In fact, beware any therapeutic intervention that promises you this. It is a lie. Prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old. Facts can’t change, but the way you deal with them can. And that brings us full circle back to Mindfulness… Thoughts are not facts. Sometimes the oldest philosophies are the best. But it doesn’t hurt to reinterpret them in a way that’s accessible in the 21st century West.


Read more:

A lasting Thank You

I’ve been crocheting little Thank You gifts recently. I do try and send Thank You cards to people who have helped me out, or been generally lovely. I like people to know that I really appreciate what they do. 

But sometimes, a card isn’t enough. When someone has been involved in a life changing event, I like to give something that they can keep, something that will remind them that I’ll never forget what they did for me. I love making gifts for people anyway (and I hope they like receiving them!) and handmade gifts don’t always have to be big or grand. Sometimes the simplest things can be the most effective.

Here are a couple I’ve made recently:


A little crochet house, embroidered with climbing roses (pattern adapted from Simply Crochet magazine)


A wee crocheted West Highland terrier (pattern from Craftseller magazine)


What sort of things have you made to say “Thank You”?

Squaring the circle

I’ve just started a crochet blanket. It’s not any old granny square blanket – it’s a stash buster -


Pattern from PurlBee

This forms part of my New Year’s resolution of…well, stash busting. I have a pretty impressive yarn stash now, and I’ll start running out of space if I’m not careful. This exercise is to remind me that actually, I do have a lot, but until it’s used, it’s not useful and it’s not seen, and I forget about it, and I feel like I have very little.

Once again, my fibre-craft acts as a real-life metaphor (oh ho ho). I’ve got rather a lot on at the moment – some of it I have no control over, most of it I’ve brought upon myself. Par example, assignment deadlines are looming, application deadlines are looming further. But I have to step back, and regroup, and remind myself that I already have the weapons in my armoury necessary to deal with it all, it’s just like (with the yarn) that I stashed all the info I need in order to tackle each one in turn, and produce something to be proud of. After all, I wouldn’t have gotten this far if I wasn’t capable of doing it.

Two of the best tips I have for students (or anyone, really) struggling to cope with multiple deadlines (aside from the usual to-do lists, time management, etc etc) are:

  1. Talk to your peers. This is useful for so many reasons – some, your lecturers will have told you about (sharing knowledge, brainstorming, proof-reading) – but my personal favourite? Don’t feel alone. It brings you back down to earth, and reminds you that you AREN’T THE ONLY ONE who is suffering from post-Christmas-slump. Your brain checked out when you broke up for the holidays, and hasn’t yet reappeared? It’s ok. That’s normal. It’s very reassuring to know that.
  2. Take time for things you enjoy. If you spend all your time trying to force yourself to finish your assignments, you will come to hate them, and subsequently resent your discipline. Yes, it’s important that you work hard, and yes it’s important that you meet those deadlines. But that doesn’t mean that you need to do nothing BUT. Hence the crochet.

Anyway, I have a blanket to work on. Or an assignment. Or both.